Once, I was sitting at the Beverly Hills Hotel with my husband having a morning breakfast and talking about things casually. I love this legendary hotel full of historical events. The fantastic atmosphere is always friendly and hospitable. I admit, I love observing people in nice places: what kind of food they order, how they carry themselves, and of course how they dress.
Drinking a cup of hot tea, I noticed an elegantly dressed young woman who was escorted by the maître d’ to her table. Her beautiful, long vintage dress looked like a fashion statement. She walked slowly but confidently. We could only say, “Wow” – not because she was dressed in a beautiful dress, because her simplicity and natural aura just amazed us.
I will be honest with you, I could not stop looking at her. I could tell that, inside, her elegance was not playful and fake, it was coming from her inner self-world.
After finishing our breakfast, we were driving back home and I was still wondering what elegance really is. How often do we meet elegant people in our lives? Was elegance rare in the past? Now and in the future? Moreover, is it possible find someone who is both sexy and elegant? These two qualities probably describe a person as attractive and gifted. These people were rare to meet before, simply rare to meet now as well.
I think elegance comes from the soul: soul of style and grace. I define elegance as someone or something luxurious in a restrained tone but yet in a breathtaking, simple manner. It is kind of a sophisticated meaning of being aware of how to carry the style that complements you organically. Today, we can meet cute, curvy, or slender women who try to keep up to date with the latest fashion trends and read fashion magazines and blog weekly.
But again, I do not think it is so difficult to arrange an outfit for dinner, for instance. There is so much information online on how to organize your fashion wardrobe, create a desirable outfit, and stay fashionable for the times. Also, there are so many tips and so much advice on how to dress and be elegant and classy that you can find online, as well. And we, women, use this information to create our style, look, and dignity. But what you cannot find online, or in books or blogs, is an elegance that you cannot learn, imitate, or create; you can only have it by gift when you were born.
I think true elegance lives in simple hearts and sincere souls. It authentically grows from upbringing to the days of matureness. You can take a lesson on how to dress and walk elegantly, you can learn how to speak in an elegant manner too. You can upend and change your lifestyle completely. But if your elegance does not escort kindness and empathy, your presence will not be complete and organic. To me, elegance is not only from a dress code or manners, it is the key of perfection in a profound noble-minded aspect. It is a deeper and more sophisticated quality that not everybody can have or present.
Sexiness is another form of self-expression of natural beauty and uniqueness. What you think is a natural sexiness, often most of the time people confuse with vulgarity. The image of sexiness was and still is a woman who has a sculpted body, bronzed skin, and wears a short, tight dress. When we see this sexy image, we automatically say the words “hot,” even if we do not really think about the meaning of the present look.
But the night comes and all the image preparations, such as makeup and hair extensions, will finally be washed out and disappear away. And you will stay naked with a clear purpose of natural beauty.
Again, there are so many ways to attract or magnetize a certain aim, you can try hard to impress with seductive clothes and makeup. But if you just want to conform to how others want you to be, you will find yourself boxed up with artificial impulses.
I think sexiness is more than that. The beauty of sexiness can be so individual: when you walk or say, “Hello,” how you look at the moment you talk and look back to them. The key to sexiness is interaction and inner ability mixed with naturality. Again, the beauty of sexiness is hard to define, impossible to learn and comprehend in an elegant way. Simply, you have it or not. As I said before, sexiness is often confused with vulgarity. To me, sexiness is when you try to leave some mystery about you, to be an unopened book for a moment.
Natural sexiness and elegance are impossible to buy. They are two inseparable girlfriends that have not been easy to find together lately; by the way, kindness and sincerity are rare to find in these days as well. It is a challenge to combine these two amazing girlfriends and be able to be a master at the art of elegance and add subtle, provocative sexiness. The balance of elegance and sexiness can be accomplished without looking hot or seductive.
This elegant sexy style is hard to chase. If you reveal too much sexiness, you will lose elegance in the form of classiness. Again, you can cultivate and define this style for yourself, but remember the certain way of how to carry it out naturally. When confidence and grace are added with elegance, that can be found as very sexy as well. If you know how to balance the whirlpool of these two beautiful qualities, you will shift your vision on fashion, style, and life further up.
For those young ladies who are inspired by authentic excellence and perfect style, I would say, go for it, using your innate talents and inner love toward notable elegance and natural sexiness.
“Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.”
—Audrey Hepburn
“Young girls need to learn that sexiness is not about being naked.”
—Mark Jacobs