Before I became a Mom, I had always dreamed of having a girl. Nothing else can happen to me. I strongly knew I would only have a daughter. When you have a girl, you can always parallel your own childhood moments as a little girl, teenage girl, or young lady. Every Mommy loves dreaming of having the special female connection between her and her little miracle. Going to the mall together, buying dresses together, playing with makeup together, and just enjoying girls’ moments. I was like any Mommy who loved fantasizing about having all this fun with my daughter when I was pregnant.
When we found out that we were having a boy, I freaked not a little bit, I freaked a lot inside. My eyes filled with salty tears, and my fantasy world of having a girl was shattered! I asked my doctor if she was definitely sure it was a boy. I re-asked her 15 times, for sure, and the response was still the same.
Finally she got exhausted of my silly questions, and she laughed, saying, ”Do you want a girl with a penis?”
I mumbled, ”No!”
My doctor smiled. “Then it is a boy! You are having a healthy boy, Mommy!”
I digested this information for a week. What am I going to do with a boy? Will I understand him as a Mommy? Will I be able to love him as much as I already loved my non-existent baby girl? All these questions were spinning around my brain.
My close friend of two boys kept telling me that having a boy is an amazing thing and there is nothing more special than the bond between mother and son. Also, she amusingly added, “Girls can be very dramatic, boys have less drama.”
It took me a few weeks to digest everything, and I felt a new euphoria inside. Because my husband is 6’5″ tall, I anticipated that my baby boy might become tall like his father. We found a strong Scottish/English name that means “spacious fort” or “hero.”
My son is 8½ years old, and all these years I have experienced happiness. I remember decorating his room with dinosaurs, turtles, trucks, and cars brought me so much joy. I enjoyed every moment, and this special bond between me and my son enhanced each day till this very day. His unbelievable sweetness and energy cannot be described in how he shows his love for me. When he snuggles up to me or hugs me, my heart melts and I feel protected by him. Being a Mom of a boy changed my perspective and helped me to be more patient and understanding of a boy’s world. It is not easy adjusting to a life of sports, dinosaurs, animals, spaceships, Nerf and Fortnite, but it’s the life that I love!
I feel so amazed and special when he turns my face to say to me with a very serious look on his own face, “Mommy, I want to marry you,” or, “ Mommy, I will never leave you.” I could not even imagine that a son’s love could be so sweet and profound. I did not even know that unconditional love exists. When he smiles widely, sends me funny jokes, or gives me warm hugs, I am absolutely happy and thank God to be blessed with the experience of this exceptional bonding with my boy.
I still have some uncertainties on how to raise and bring up my son to become a real man. I am still learning how to challenge him and accept his challenges. I am still learning that he is growing and going through multiple stages as well. We can have disagreements and rainy days from time to time, but I know certainly that our special bond will last a lifetime. I want to believe that his bond of affection and adoration will never go away and will stay deeply in his heart. Otherwise, I will be devastated.
I know life is life, and one day my sweet boy will fall in love, and I will be happy for him. But I know for sure there will be a dedicated place in it for me. Because the bond between Moms and sons is strong and unconditionally unbroken.