The marriage topic is very controversial and arguable. When I become a part of a discussion about marriage or relationships, I sense how profoundly significant this topic is and how much work it takes to answer questions on challenging situations about your or others’ marriages. I am a 44-year-old woman, and I think I have a pretty strong and successful family. However, some families I know are experiencing some difficult and unpleasant transitions. Transitions from miscommunication, disappointments, and discomfort. Is your husband or wife going through a midlife crisis? Is their midlife transition due to shortcomings of achievements in life? Or the humdrum of lacking variety or excitement? I have no idea, but it caused me to analyze this subject in detail.
I am not an expert on how to keep your marriage going or how to please your husband after 40. It depends on the two individuals, their points of view, and the standards of your marriage. I am coming from my outlook and experience. I am not a perfect wife, I am not a perfect mommy, but I follow my strength, self-love, love for my family, and high standards of strong growth through our challenges.
To be exact and truthful, I asked my husband what kind of needs after 40 he would love to obtain from me. Here are the needs he mentioned:
Excitement and Flirtation: Things that make your husband feel good and anticipate intimacy
Kissing during the day is the best way to make your husband feel good and strengthen your connection. My girlfriends always discuss the kissing topic, and once one of my girlfriends looked at us and said, “OMG, where did it go?” I think a quick, warm kiss on the cheek or a goodbye hug or kiss is always in style. It reflects our inner desire and love-attachment.
Cooking his favorite breakfast or dinner is another source of connection to make him feel loved. Make him a cup of coffee while he is working or talking on the phone. All these daily, simple things are a part of an intimate game that only the two of you understand and appreciate.
Intimacy and Relaxation: Time spent together at the end of the day to relieve stress and get back to knowing and enjoying each other
Are you tired and exhausted at the end of the day? Are you not ready to relieve stress and be closer to your partner? (Some days are like this.) I can reveal some of my secrets to solve this situation. First, start your journey with your love-language and love-attachment. Learn how to chill and relax in your inner heart first.
It will help to reestablish your self-needs as well. Balancing your inner self is very important to me. I reflect my energy into the heart core of marriage, but it is not always easy to achieve the right sense. Our daily intimate power should come from both of us. Simply hugging and talking about the two of you is a precious time to finally relieve stress and enjoy each other again.
Surprises: Things that make the day more spontaneous and meaningful at times
My family is always spontaneous; moreover, my husband is like a child and loves to be surprised. Surprises can be as simple as you could even imagine. Sending a quick “thinking of you” text out of the blue always works and makes my hubby’s entire day. Besides, he loves when I gave him a super nice compliment instead of a criticism. His eyes always express a surprised look when I tell him how handsome and fit he is.
Every time he comes back from the gym, I make his favorite protein shake. Like I mentioned before, men are like children who love when their women spoil them with attention and compliments. It is all about emotional and physical connection. It is all about being meaningful and spontaneous—not only in action but verbally as well.
All these examples are well-known; however, we often forget how important and valuable they are. In these hectic and busy days, we forget to express our feelings openly and freely. These magical marriage aspects are substantially needed to keep us alive and close. Especially in a long-term marriage or relationship, we fall into restless patterns and daily routines, forgetting that we are all human beings, and we always need change and attention to evolve, particularly sexually.